Herbs for the Public Meltdown

There is a great blog post bouncing around my FB newsfeed these days. Perhaps you've read it as well, Dear Shopper Staring at my Child Having a Meldown in the Grocery Store. It’s fabulous even if you don’t have a child in the autism spectrum. It got me thinking, what’s a mother to do beside hang on for dear life and hope your flight or fright reflex doesn't drive you to flee? I can’t tell you how many times we've had meltdowns in public. Where else do you have a meltdown, I mean really? The quote that sticks in my mind the most from the post is this,

Problem is — I have to feed my family, deposit my paycheck, pick up prescriptions, etc. just like you do. And, unfortunately, no one arrived at my house today to watch my child so that his autistic behavior wouldn't upset anyone in public.

I think this goes without saying for any child. Any child can be pushed beyond their limits. I am the lucky mama to three boys, seven, four and eighteen months. We are a one car family. Sometimes, we must go grocery shopping and everyone has to come. Then we have to go to the library and Target. All in THE SAME DAY. I give myself chills just thinking about it.

Anyway, I thought I’d put my two cents in, with five simple things you can do to help your child and yourself calm down.

I’m going to start with the most obvious.

Make Sure No One is Hungry – How many times have I wanted to scream back, WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET? YOU ARE GETTING EVERYTHING YOU WANT?! It’s because he’s hungry. It’s always because he’s hungry. There are lots of little things you can keep in your bag or car. Jerky, crispy nuts, a few pieces of hard fruit. It often doesn’t take much. In my experience high fat, high protein foods help sustain blood sugar in the long run. However, it’s not always convenient to keep these foods on hand when you’re out and about. This is where it pays to be prepared. Although most of us don’t plan a meltdown into our day.

Five Flower Formula – Five Flower formula was developed by Dr. Bach in the 1930s. It contains a combination of Rock Rose, Impatiens,Clematis, Star of Bethlehem and Cherry Plum. Flower essences are made by placing flowers and other plant material in water then setting them in the sun. They rely on the idea of water memory. These are vibrational or energetic remedies and I swear by them. I really do. I have a bottle of Five Flower in every bag. If we are traveling I make up a spritz bottle of clean water, Five Flower and a few drops of lavender essential oil. To administer flower essences you simply place 1-4 drops under the tongue and that’s it! I find my kids are game for this. If not put it under your own tongue and take a deep breath.

Nervine tinctures – Tinctures are fast and easy. Tinctures are extremely simple to make and even simpler to take. For a child you need only to place a few drops under the tongue or in a small glass of water or juice. A few purse herbs to keep on hand for stressful situations are skullcap, milky oats or catnip. These are proven to effectively sooth frayed nerves without causing drowsiness. Refer to this chart for proper dosage information.

Homeopathy – Hylands makes a wonderful product called CalmsForte and luckily they now also make Calms4Kids. This is a combination with eight different remedies rolled into one. To administer you put the tablet in the mouth of the person screaming at you. They melt almost instantly so there’s no worry of choking.

Danger! Danger! Approaching meltdown!

Aromatherapy – This is a great method to use because you don’t have to convince your child to take anything in the middle of the wrapping paper aisle. You only need to have a little bottle of something on hand. I mentioned above that I use a spritz bottle with lavender essential oil and water in it. Spray the air above your child and yourself. Another idea is to have a little lovey or a bean bag with calming herbs and flax seeds inside. A few years ago I bought a cow eye pillow. We called it smelly cow. Smelly cow came with us every where until he was too filthy. Then I opened his seam, emptied him and washed him. I refilled him with a combination dried rose petals, chamomile, lavender, lemon balm and flax seeds. You can sew two squares of clean fabric together and do the same. Just leave a bit of the seam open so you can put the filling in and then sew shut.

Meltdown averted, safe to proceed.

In the long run there is no substitute for lunch, a story and a nap. These are a few suggestions for when you absolutely must be out in public, when you simply must pick something up despite all opposition. Any remedy suggested must be used with thoughtfulness and viewed through the lens of your own experience with your children.

Do you have a tried and true meltdown trick you are willing to share? Do you only frequent 24 hour grocery stores so you can shop while your family is asleep?